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Avoid the Delusion That We Can Control Anyone or Anything Other Than Our Own Self in a Limited Manner. This is the second perspective. This perspective builds on the one above, "The Issue of Options." In addition to the three beneficial aspects listed there, this perspective improves our decision making ability by reminding us of our role and influence in the world.
When we begin to accept the limitations to our ability to control things, we see that clearly we cannot control our circumstances. None of us can control the conditions in which we find ourselves. The wealthy do not control economic circumstances. This is why companies and individuals go bankrupt. Success in one area does not translate to success in another. Many "powerful" people in their chosen sphere live in utter catastrophe with their spouse and family. There are famous people who have no friends.
These circumstances are external. The greater horror is that while we have some possibility of controlling our internal circumstances, although, for most the range of control is so limited as to be irrelevant. Consider my decision to be happy. When I am happy, I take credit for my condition. When I am unhappy, I totally forget my decision and find every reason outside of myself to be unhappy.
The artful decision maker gains something very important by relinquishing the illusion of control. Give up the notion of control and you gain freedom. If you hold on to control, all of your decisions are assigned the role of supporting the illusion. My example of my decision to be happy refers only to me and my person. I and my person are the only place where I have any possibility of controlling anything. I cannot control myself and yet there have been times when I thought I controlled other people.
I admit that it is a little disturbing to realize that I can decide to do something and I have no guarantee that I can do it. Even with the greatest will, circumstances and conditions may not support my decision. You may also have realized this. What are "business decisions?" Are not they different? I suggest that they are even more the same. If through my decisions I cannot control myself, how can I control anyone or anything else?
Every decision creates a part of the universe. In business this is a comfortable model because clearly creating a business is making something. This perspective does not deny that business creates something of substance. I question who gets the credit. There is probably no argument against the observation that just because I decide you should buy something, that this decision has any influence on whether or not you will buy what I am selling. Likewise if I make a "business decision" there is nothing that says that employees, potential employees, clients or customers will travel on the path of my decision.
Our rhetoric and analysis tend to support a view that the business decision is in some special realm where the decision equals concrete reality. I contend that there is only one kind of decision. Decision is not meaningfully modified by prefixes such as business, personal, financial, creative, emergency, etc. These modifiers imply that there is special energy supporting decisions because of the circumstances. While you and I are aware that there is special energy surrounding particular decision experiences, we also have to admit that there is nothing consistent about the application of these influences. The influences are beyond our control.
I find that when I abandon all notions of control of people, events and circumstances, that this is where I encounter the profound and artful aspects of decision making. When these notions drop away, I am left in the humble position of being a human being improvising a life. Improvising a life is our shared condition. We expect that we are capable of shaping our lives. We do not realize and accept that in order to shape our lives we have to be able to control our lives. This we cannot do. When I say, cannot do, I mean it in the sense of the sailboat captain who can make the decision of the heading to the destination. This decision does not cause favorable winds, supporting currents or favorable tides.
It takes a great deal of humility to learn the details of living in our physical world and to accept that we have virtually no control over it. In our professional and citizen roles we find ourselves evaluating the decisions of business colleagues and politicians. How can we do this? Colleagues and politicians are in the same existential position as we are. They have no more power or control than we do. Everyone is subject to their own circumstances and conditions. Through humility we can arrive at charity.
My point throughout this section is not that decisions are impossible because we cannot control our circumstances and conditions. My point is that our decisions become more powerful when we recognize the rare opportunities for decisions and make the most of those opportunities. The most powerful decisions are the ones we make about ourselves.
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